Sandy’s Heart and Thoughts
Sandy Wood
This is what the Lord says:
"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.
But you said, 'We will not walk in it.' Jeremiah 6:16
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My Testimony
By Sandy Wood
I would like to share some of my life with you. If I can keep any precious young person from making even one bad choice, then all of my effort in writing this has been worth it. I don’t have all of the answers to life’s problems, but I know someone who does, and that someone is Jesus. He has helped me through times of making bad choices when I was young, and shown me great and eternal purpose for my life.
I was raised extremely poor, living in a tar-papered house, with a father who had many problems. He drank, gambled away his pay checks, was an adulterer, and emotionally abused my mother and all of his children. He was 29 years older than my mother. I had 5 brothers, and we all lived in a very small 2 room house with 2 other very small rooms. One of the tiny rooms was where my mother did her washing, and also contained a hand water pump. The other room was where we stored our food. This room also had a wash basin with a bucket and dipper for water. When my father retired from the Brunswick Corporation, he added 3 bedrooms, a living room, and a bathroom to our house. Until I got my own room as a teenager, 4 of my 5 brothers, my mother and father, and myself, all slept in the same room with about a 4 foot rod hanging from the ceiling supporting all of our families clothing. We had bunk beds with dressers stacked to make room for everyone. My oldest brother slept in the porch.
At no fault of his own, at the age of 16, my oldest brother was forced by my father to leave home, to live with neighbors until adulthood. Two of my brothers later had a very small bedroom in our garage with an electric heater for the cold Michigan winter months. One summer, before getting my own room in the new addition to our house, I made a room in the garage for myself with old hanging wooden blinds to patrician off an area just for me. A wonderful neighbor gave me a dresser for my clothes, and someone else had given me my very own bed. Life was pretty good I thought. We didn’t mind pumping water twice a week so my mother could wash clothes, and using an outside toilet — except in the winter time. We used a covered “pot” inside the house at night. This is all we knew living way out in the woods with no neighbors for the first few years.
When I was 11 years old I started babysitting on weekends and after school to earn money for my school clothes. Along with helping my mother with some of the baking and cooking, I helped her take care of the house because she had to go to work. I picked cherries and blueberries in the summer months. I also started cutting hair for our neighbor ladies and giving them home permanents after practicing on myself and my mother. They were also poor, and could not pay me very much. Families had been moving into our area and building little homes. It’s amazing to me how they found our area because we lived down a little dusty two-track road in the woods. My brothers had “Grit routes” to earn money. (For those of you in the younger generation, “The Grit” was a famous little news paper in my home town in Michigan.)
It wasn’t until 4th or 5th grade that I realized how poor we really were. I had gone home from school with a classmate to spend the night. My friend Marilyn lived in a big brick home, with a fireplace, which had different kinds of candy on the mantle. The candy kept me awe struck for some time just looking at it, all lined up in pretty covered glass dishes. I had never seen anything like this before. Popcorn and fudge had been our only snacks at home except for what we collected in our pillowcases on Halloween night when my Mother would drive us to a rich neighborhood. Marilyn had a closet full of beautiful, and expensive clothes, and asked me if I wanted to wear one of her outfits the next day to school. I happily agreed to it. Most of my clothes were nice hand-me-downs, or clothes that I had made myself. What an eye opener that sleep-over was for me. I had seen the outside of such homes from the school bus, but I had no idea that people actually lived like my friend Marilyn.
When I was about 7 years old, I gave my heart to the Lord when some precious neighbors took me to their church. I knew something was different in me, but I had no supportive family members to share this experience with, or encourage me in my new faith. I continued to go to church occasionally until my teenage years.
Because of my dad’s verbal, and occasional physical abuse to my mother, and some of my brothers, I couldn’t wait to get married and have my own family. At age 16, after completing the 10th grade, I married “the guy of my dreams.” He was handsome, and 17 months older than me. I got pregnant on my honeymoon, and now I was on my way to living that life I had dreamed of. I loved children and I thought that MY marriage was going to be the “perfect marriage” that I always thought could be possible. Certainly, it had to be better than my parents marriage. I knew I could live in a tent if necessary and be happy.
I had a wonderful dream for my life and it was devastating when I realized after only a couple months of marriage that it was not coming true. What I was too young to realize was that I had married a man very similar to my father. I had no idea that he would not want to settle down and live my dream of having a “perfect marriage” with me. I also did not expect my first child, a beautiful, seemingly healthy daughter, to be mentally challenged, and to later begin having very bad grand mall epileptic seizures. At the age of 17, I was faced with an adulterous husband, uncommitted to his family; and a child that would demand much of my time and attention for the rest of my life. Yes, I could cook, clean, sew, and take good care of my child, my mother had prepared me for that. Even on occasion, my Grandmother would ask me to take care of my Aunt who was very disabled from Mongoloidism, (Down Syndrome in today’s terms) but, I was not at all prepared for the unexpected infidelity that came with my marriage.
In the years to come, not knowing where to go or what to do, I continued in my horrible marriage. I had 2 more healthy children, but one was extremely hyperactive. This brought another aspect of life that I was not prepared for. I was trying my best, but still failing miserably. My health and life were in shambles.
Trying to take care of my growing children alone, I started sending them to Sunday School on the Sunday School bus. I longed to go to church again myself, but because of exhaustion, I would try to get some extra sleep while they were gone. Christmas was coming and my children wanted me to come to their Christmas play. I was so tired and discouraged, but went because that’s what any “good” parent should do. The night of the play changed my life forever. I was so moved by the Lord’s presence, and I could feel Him wooing this broken woman of 27 years to “come”. When they started playing the song, “Just As I Am” I jumped to my feet and went forward crying all the way. That very night the King of Kings picked up all of the brokenness of my life, and wrapped His arms of love around me. I knew from that night on that I would never be able to continue my life without Him again.
To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein He hath made us accepted in the beloved. Ephes. 1:6
My new life was not an easy time, and life did not cooperate with my need and desire to be happy. It took many more heartaches for me to finally begin to see in the midst of the extreme darkness that surrounded me, that the Lord was helping me to gradually make progress in my own spiritual life. The Light was becoming brighter for me to follow. I think during those first few years, I prayed the sinners prayer over and over probably 990 times before I had confidence that the Lord really loved me, had actually received me as His child and had forgiven ALL my sins. I had had so many doubts that He would love me, and would want me to be His child. After all, I was almost 30 years old before my own father told me he loved me. It was very hard for me to comprehend that my heavenly Father loved me enough to die for me. I HAD to make sure of my salvation, so I said the sinners prayer any time it was offered in church, and every time I saw a Billy Graham Crusade on television. I recalled many times a scripture a Sunday School teacher had asked the class to memorize when I was a small child. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:” Ephes. 2:8 Even though I had a hard time understanding it, I kept thinking about it.
After gaining greater assurance of salvation, and with a new vision for my life I went back to school. I took free classes for two years for secretarial training, typing, and computer training while my children were in school. I’m so thankful for a wonderful Christian teacher that I had, and later shared with her why my efforts in learning were not very productive. I had very little sleep at night because of the circumstances in my marriage, and I had very little food to eat most of the time. Also, my daughter had many seizures during the night. Often, I had to leave class to pick her up from her special school because she would be having seizures. God had given me this angel of a teacher who helped me so much, and was my teacher for all of the classes I took. She enabled me to pass my classes, in preparation for what God would eventually call me to do, by privately allowing me to re-take tests until I passed them after failing the first time. I had longed to be able to serve the Lord in some way after becoming a Christian. I knew I was being prepared for something, but I had no idea what. When I didn’t have classes, I worked cleaning homes to make ends meet. I recall one time at a ladies meeting at our church, a very godly lady looked at me and said, “Sister Sandy, God’s grace is sufficient for you.” Little did she know how much I needed someone to encourage me with that. To this day, I often remember that scripture and the precious lady that told me.
I look back at the miracles God gave me in my younger years, and it’s so incredible to me how He cared about every aspect of my life. Step by step He put my life back together as I learned to trust and follow Him more and more. Even though there were still many difficult bridges to cross, including a painful divorce, my life started having meaning. For the first time in my adult life, I was actually having a few times of real happiness. Our Savior had loved me through some of the worst days of my life.
And I will pray to the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; John 14:16
Today, I am deeply grateful for where I am in my life. The Lord has allowed me to help serve the persecuted Body of Christ, and that has brought such a peace and joy to my life. And, He brought into my life a husband who is also deeply committed to the Lord. I am so thankful that when we have had heartbreaking and devastating trials to endure, we have gone through them “together,” leaning on the Lord. He has shown us His faithfulness, and how to walk in peace while living a productive life in the midst of the trials. I have found the Lord to be so very faithful to me, my husband, and my precious daughter.
With so much behind me, much more than I have room to write, I want with all my heart to help young women avoid mistakes that can leave devastating scars. By faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are daughters of the King, and how badly we all need Him. He helps us to make wise and godly choices when we’re young, which can prevent a lot of heartache. I’m so thankful for Jesus, and that I never let go of Him. I pray that you make the Lord the love of your life, and He will help you make choices that you will never regret.
Sandy
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